The other day I commented on a Beautiful Post by Ginger Wilcox and as all good Bloggers do Ginger commented back. Sometimes we read what we are feeling into someones words, and sometimes we gain solace from what we read. Ginger's comment "The Road Less Traveled can be very, very lonely.." made me think. I thought about it for quite awhile as I more often than not do indeed travel down that lonely road that others choose not to.
Life is full of choices.... Some we have the power to make, and some we don't. Choosing the path we want to travel isn't always within our total control. Some decisions are made from so far within that we might not be conscious of the reasons. Some decisions are made from anger, righteousness, responsibilities, fear of rejection, or fear of the unknown.
Some people are Followers, and some are Leaders. We've all seen stories of people that follow and don't really know why, but others did it, so they do it too. We've seen stories of "Mob Mentality" where a perfectly rational individual morphs into "action" without any thought of the consequences...they react to the moment.
During my term in the Peace Corps I had a lot of evenings to fill, and one way was to read. On a cold snowy night it didn't matter to me what I read, as long as it would carry me away from the solitude of the night. Books in English were hard to come by, but one day someone gave me a book of Poetry. I had never really read poetry before, but as I said, it was in English so I read it. One of the poems was The Road Less Traveled by Robert Frost. I read it several times, thinking of different parts of my life where I had indeed taken the road less traveled.
Many years ago I worked at Sylmar Juvenile Hall, a Juvenile Detention Facility in Los Angeles County. I was full of optimism. Basically a loner, somewhat insecure in my position, and trying to do my best; I was proud of my accomplishments ......but then I got called into the Directors Office. He was very professional, but his words were like a sledge hammer into my soul..... He stated, "We have no room for Individuality in this Department." It's been more than 30 years since I heard those words, but I can hear them like it was yesterday.
No room for Individuality...Follow the Crowd even when you don't know why, or don't agree. Or stand up for what you believe in. That is a hard choice for many of us to have to make. There are consequences for both choices, but one of them has a lot of company while the other one can indeed be very, very lonely.
But wait...many people are so afraid to go into the unknown that they never get to experience all the wonderful adventures of traveling along a different path. If we plan everything, and follow just to follow we miss so many opportunities that we didn't even know existed. It's all about the journey, and what we want from life. How many people travel with us isn't as important as how we feel while going down that road...the one that others were afraid to take.....
By: Kathy McGraw - CELLing Realty
Now that was outstanding! Beautiful and well worded with depth, meaning and conviction. I will WOW this as the rating button doesn't work anymore.
Thanks for the insight...and I know the answer for me....the most important journey I ever took was the road less traveled.....for just me. Now look at me!
Jason- Your words are very touching, thank you.....now that could replace the sledgehammer :) :)
Larry- Thank you for coming by to read this. I totally agree with you about Ginger......and as for the Poem for years I could recite it, so reading it on her Post just got me to thinking. And you're right about motivation, but then again some people lose it for different reasons. Thank you for coming by to read this.
Sally-Ahhh, and all the words are spelled right too :) :) you would not be who you are today if you had not experienced life in your own way. And yea......look at you now.
Jason- Well thank you my friend......that is a nice compliment. And good writing to you....I am done for the night :) :)
Great blog Kathy,
The road less traveled is often the harder road. Thanks for the excellent blog.
You should write a book! That was amazing.
The road less traveled is harder and takes alot more inner strength, but it's rewards can be great! I have always done my own thing in the past, and only recently have joined the Database marketing crowd. It has helped tremendously I must say, but I still stick to myself and do what I Know best.
That is truly an inspiring article. Thank you for keeping us all in check today. I have a question for you....I am new to active rain and would love to reply to some of the comments I have received on the blogs I have written, but don't know how. Do you just simply post a comment under the current blog or is there some way to actually direct your response to the individual?
I would greatly appreciate any help you could give me!
Thank you and have a wonderful day! I know I will be cause I will take your inspiration with me!
Kathy,
Quite an inspirational post here. Had a day yesterday where I think I met your former boss. I do feel sorry for them. I try to live by "Life is the Journey, not the destination"
Missy- I didn't move on for many years, I just learned how to be a part of a group.....while still keeping "myself". I learned what things were important to me, which weren't and which I would compromise, or not. Oh, and I too like Robert Frost, after 40+ years of never having read him :) :)
Todd- yes, this road is often harder, but then again the rewards are bigger :) :) thank you.......
Carole-Ahh, I knew from your writings, and the comments you make (as these too show the real person) that you have had a wonderful journey......and we are only half way down that road now :) :)
Paul - Joining a group doesn't mean we can't stay who we are.....it is only when we forget who we are, and follow without knowing why that we have compromised ourselves. We do what we have to do, as long as we can say we chose to do it, and not blame others for what we chose :) :)
Charlie- :) :) Life usually has chosen for me.....like Real Estate, never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I would be in this field. But Real Estate and my background are all about people, so it works :)
Joe- I am smiling....can you see me :) :) Thanks......
Bobby- My old friend, how are you.....thank you for the kind words....:) :) Yes, I am generally known as a "strong" down to earth person. Getting others to find their own strengths has been a reoccurring theme in everything I have ever done in life.
Melinda- Welcome.....yes if you want to comment.....after you read the post, where it says Leave a response, put the persons name there, bold it (so they can find it) and write your comment. If you want a personalized one just to that person.....click the blue signature line ( at the bottom of their comment) and it takes you to their profile......from here you will see contact me......the email one......there you can write to that person...... Hope this helps, thanks for coming by, and never be afraid to ask a question, that's how we all learn :) :)
Tim- Life is indeed about the journey......I wrote a speech for someone once with this as the theme......and as far as my old Boss, I think he has a lot of clones :) :) Hope today is a better one for you....every day is a new day.......
Susan - Sounds very wise to me :) :) We all have to follow rules and such to be part of any group, but that doesn't mean we are a follower.....we can still lead by example :)
Faith- The quote/comment ' "Don't be afraid to go out on a limb, that's where the fruit is!" is great....and funny you wrote about the lemmings....that is one of my favorite sayings.......and I almost put that in here, but it didn't fit right, but believe me that was/is one of my thoughts :) :) Don't blindly follow without questioning....(unless it's a life or death situation).
Kathy,
You have such a beautiful way with words! As a natural born "follower", I sometimes have to really step outside of my comfort zone to follow the path I feel is right. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.
Wow! I would never work anywhere I couldn't be an individual. Of course, that's why my husband and I own our own office. We wnat the freedom to do things they way we think thye should be done.
I love that poem. Here is a link to a nice version of it on-line.
http://www.simpleatheart.com/poem.htm
Kathy, there is no doubt in my mind that you are an individual. I've missed you on my blog. I look forward to your take on things.
Bill Roberts
Kathy...
Does telling you I get very lonely at times say anything about me? Anything? :)
TLW...ROAR!
Kathy,
Great post! I think there are more people than we think who choose 'the road less traveled'. It's just that we walk it at different times and in different places! Thanks, Fran
Kathy,
First of all, thank you for the mention. You are definitely not a follower. I know that road can be long and lonely at times, but it is much better to be alone then to do something that goes against the very core of who you are. Many people who are followers don't know who they are, or are not comfortable with it. It is also those who are insecure who don't like people who stand alone. I always hate to see so called "leaders" or people in power who don't know how to deal with opposing view points. If someone doesn't think the same way as I do, I still like to hear why they think what they do. Please, show me why I am wrong! We can all learn something from everyone. Thankfully we don't all think the same- life would be boring, actually, it would be non-existent. This is a beautiful post Kathy.
I am blushing at Larry's comments (WOW!!!), and your kind agreement with him.
That was such a onderful post Kathy....
I am not a follower but don't think of myself as a leader either! Sort of do my own thing and if others want to come along....great!!
Where were you in the Peace Corps?
Desiree- thank you....and no I don't see you as a follower either. Your comment about allowing followers to be heard too is interesting....where would the leaders be if there were no followers :) :) What would the teachers teach if there weren't any students. I believer everything in life has a place, and a value (well almost everything) :) :)
Lisa- Following what we believe is right isn't always easy, and yes, we do have to leave our comfort zones sometimes......good for you, that says a lot about your character.
Leslie-Thank you for the link to the poem....that is the version before the name was changed. In fact, why was the name changed ??? Anyway, I too own my own company just so I can do things my own way. Sometimes I give all my info to other Realtors that aren't familiar with the area, or give referrals without compensation because that's what I want to do :) :) I also want to make sure I can be me.....not some corporate version of what I should be.
Bill- Thanks.....:) I never seem to have enough time to get to all the posts I want.......one day I just went to one group and read everything, and commented.......but since I read not only the post but EVERY comment it takes me forever.
TLW- yes it does :) :) Being who you are is a true treasure to this whole community, and I for one am very grateful for all I've learned, and all the laughs you've given as well.
Chris-Ahhh, but when you're 20 you believe many things that later you can safely dismiss as false....:) :)
Brett-I have no reply.......well at least nothing that I can say with any certainly :) :) Interesting statistics though, thanks.
Brad - Yep, I have heard that before....I have also experienced it a few times in my life :) :)
Shannon- Well, that is quite a compliment coming from you......thanks :) :) I know it's just because Jason and I have that house coming by FED EX, right :) :)
Fran - you stated: It's just that we walk it at different times and in different places! " Very Profound, and I am sure you are absolutely correct, their footprints have been left everywhere.
Ginger- you stated: "We can all learn something from everyone. Thankfully we don't all think the same- life would be boring, actually, it would be non-existent."
Your comment again makes me think. It seems some people just want to be right all the time, and don't want to be proven wrong. And by not listening, they don't have to change......A sort of Insulated Self Valuation.
It can be very difficult to admit our point of view might not be the only one, or maybe it might just be wrong for us, and not for someone else. Not everyone even wants to listen, and some don't know how. Diversity, and differences is what makes the world a beautiful place.
Sometimes it's a balancing act...knowing when to follow and when to lead or walk into the abyss. My husband and I have been having this very same conversation tonight. Ya still have to plan your walk into the unknown and know that you are trail blazing.
You are someone I would love to meet!
MB, this is a very deep post. Congratulations on the gold star. You deserve it.
I have one post in draft. I just can't seem to finish it. It's quarter end so I've been working late. It's also time for tax returns for those who extended and payroll tax time. I picked up four tax clients over the past week.
Anyway, back to your post. Leaders lead without trying. Your personality inspires others and it comes through in your posts. :-)
Very thoughtful post Kathy and I must say it takes courage to make the right choice, But as with everything in life if you choose to follow the air you breathe has been tasted by those ahead of you. Yes its frightening to be the first to take the step on untrodden ground but when you get to savor the beauty that is yours alone to enjoy you know that you can never settle for less again.
So I say be brave and as I do I recall the words of a poem from the sixth grade and I don't even know it's author but its words have stayed with me for over forty years. The poem was The Valiant and the words that have echoed through my mind for four decades is that the valiant taste death but once whilst those of lesser courage taste it daily.
Be brave my friends and dare to live your life and don't be one who looks down upon your grave with regret of things not done.
Toni E. -Ahhh I empathize with you on the taxes thing......and the post in Draft....well, priorities first :) :) How's the RE........after the taxes you'll have more time, just be careful of overextending, even strong people can get frustrated or lose focus...... MB :) :)
Rick-Ahhhhh, the unknown....it has always been something people either fear or embrace.....good for you.
Darrel-I looked on Google for that poem, but didn't find it. If you have a link would you share it? I like the "savor the beauty that is yours alone to enjoy you know that you can never settle for less again." I think this is why I became a Broker, and don't work 9-5 jobs :) :) I pick and choose my clients, and am willing to drive many miles for them......which of course is also for me, as it gives me freedom. The path I chose many years ago is the only one for me...........
Another great post from you. Sometimes I think it all comes down to self worth and confidence. Without these qualities, one cannot and will not stand on his/her own.
Oh Kathy, I have been soooo busy and not having the strength or eyesight to come and blog. Boy was I glad to see you had not only one new post but this one too. I had to stop and read it before looking on to see if I'd missed another.
Oh how you speak to my heart. I TOTALLY understand what you are saying in this post. It is hard to stand up and be an individual when everybody else is in lock-step. But when that path sways so far from your deep personal beliefs you HAVE to make your own path. So many do what is expected, instead of doing what needs to be done and staying true tothemselves. In doing or not doing that they never come close to finding or fulfilling their purpose and what will your life really be, if not a fulfilled one.
Taking the path of least resistance never produces greatness. What you have done in life so far has set a great example for your family and your community and helps others visualize what it's like to DARE to be great and not apologize for it.
Continue to inspire and I will admire. Congrats on another great featured post. You deserved this one, as the others. i'll be back but I can't wait to read the others.
Cynthia- I doubt Plato or any other Philosopher could have said it better, or more concise than you did, " I think it all comes down to self worth and confidence. Without these qualities, one cannot and will not stand on his/her own. "
Toni B. -Wow, that's some deep thinking for someone as busy as you :) :) We both have done many different things, and as for me......I just want to feel I have contributed something worth while during my life. Funny, but I never know what I may end up doing next, destiny....it just happens :) :)
Oh, and yes, I miss both of you too......that MB is funny, it is sticking now I see :) :)
Kathy I was on a road less travelled today. It was the old Highway that was preempted by I-10 that goes from Banning To Beaumont. It seems that there is a quite a bit of commercial lots available there. I could be interested, if you have any listings.
Bill Roberts
Ginger- Good points :) :)
Bill-Ahhh did you go to the Outlets, the Pow Wow, or to Palm Springs? Yes there are a lot of commercial lots available.....but I don't do commercial.....past my area of expertise, at least for Developers....they're a special breed:) :) and that road is traveled quite a bit actually, and even more so now :) :)
Hi Kathy,
You are so right we so often, in life, are afraid to make choices. I have a favorite saying, I can't quite do it justice, in essence it talks about choices. A person down on their luck had a hand full of moldy peanuts, he was offered a wonderful meal, but he had to give up his moldy peanuts. Most people will not give up those moldy peanuts for a banquet. Sometimes we have to let go and go for it.
Comment to "Peanuts"-sorry but I don't have a name, but I really like your saying.....it is indeed hard for many people to let go of something they are familiar with for something they don't yet have. Those peanuts have probably brought some kind of relief/familiarity, even if just something to hold onto when all else is lost.....a hard choice indeed.
The known is more comfortable than the unknown.......
Kathy, Actually we stopped at McDonalds on our way back from PS and I decided to drive a few miles along that old hwy just to get a "feel" for what is happening there.
Bill Roberts
Fear is what keeps so many people from greatness! If you do something different and don't follow what everyone else will do you will be the leader that everyone else follows!
I always have done things different in my life. I had friends who drank, I've had one wine cooler in my life. Other friends who got into drugs and cigarettes and I have never even tried either. While others were drinking coffee, I was out running in the mornings 10-15 miles a day. I no longer do the running thing, but I still stay away from all the others. I saw myself as a leader and not a follower and a lot of these friends ended up leaning on me when they were ready to quit!
So, be a leader you will get a lot farther in life than you will as a follower.
Ahhh the Google Juice has arrived.....Hi my friend :) :) You and I traveled on this road many times while I was in the Peace Corps. I remember many places we went, and many things we saw that others never did. You don't need to always be brave, just once. Oh, and Thank you for that book on Poetry :)
Hey, did you recognize the picture....it was that Shepard out in the country who had never had his picture taken before. Those were fun times, and I'm glad you went on the journey with me....so much to see, and so much to learn :) :)
Kathy,
I don't know how I missed this post but I am so glad I found it now! Stay true to yourself because in the end that is really all that matters...you can't fool yourself. Excellent post!
Toni B. -
Yea, that was a real shock when I saw my friend found this Post....just goes to show we never know who reads them......that comment came directly from Romania :) :) She was my teacher, interpreter, and later became my friend. We traveled everywhere, through conversations, cultural acceptance, and actual journeys around the country. It was a good time, one of learning and accepting.
My next Post....tomorrow ( Sunday)....I have been very busy giving back to the community, this time the AR community :) :)
Monika- Oh, I totally understand.....it is very easy to miss a Post :) Thank you, and tomorrow I will Post the one with your comment........and as I said it was just perfect......
Tom- wise words, and sometimes people don't know if they are a Leader or not unless they have an opportunity, or take the opportunity.
Gita- thank you.....and my apologigies for not seeing you and Tom had commented way back when :( I am glad you liked this piece.
Choosing the right way to go isn't easy, but following the Crowd won't let others know who we truely are.......
GREAT post! So many people think because they "tell" someone what to do they are the leader - not so!
I used to have a tag line in my emails that went something like, "If you think you are a leader, look behind you - if there is no one there, you are just taking a walk" - can't remember the quote exactly, but it made sense to me ~ LOL
Katrina- History is full of lessons learned. People followed some, but not always for the right reasons.....We've seen stories of "Mob Mentality" where a perfectly rational individual morphs into "action" without any thought of the consequences...they react to the moment. "
Having lived and worked in a former Communist Country that was trying to convert to a "Democratic one with a free Market Economy" I have seen many instances of people that follow blindly, but they do follow. Look at some of the worst riots in our History, they were all following.....but what kind of a Leader were they following......Look at Germany....what kind of a Leader was this........so my point is sometimes someone can lead, and indeed have a following....but is that road the right one? Only time will tell.
"Bosses" tell people what to do....while "Leaders" just show the way.
Kathy,
I really enjoy a lot of your blogs, my favorite is this one because there's much meaning.
Hope things are going well for you and the real estate market is improving.
Take care
Well I can see why you got so many responses! Do you sometimes think that when there are 70 responses.......that 71 won't really make that much difference.? Or will they even read it by then? smile
anyhow I've been working on a blog 'about the road less travelled' and it is one of my favorite poems......does that happen a lot? same theme at the same time.....? synchronicity i guess.......anyhow .....I loved it! :-)
Vickie- I have to tell you I laughed when I read your comment on egos.....my my you are so right...LOL :) Hey I went and checked out your Profile before coming here, do you think you belong to enough Groups ?????? If not we can make another one and call it FEEDing the Big Egos LOL ........but then again I have no idea who would join :)
Anyway thank you for the compliment.....and Congratulations again on that darling Grandson....what is his name?
Vickie-I know many people here that never go into the Groups, they just read from the main dashboard, or they read who is on their subscribed list. Me, I enjoy going into the Groups.....I want to see who is doing what, and what is Featured in the Group. You can tell alot about some people this way :) You're right I do know of several people with huge EGOS and some that like to cause problems......but hey this place is usually big enough to avoid them. Saves the stress level.....
Now to your darling grandson, Benjamin. Do you live close enough to be able to do the Grandma thing when you want? My grandkids moved about 2 hours away, but I still see them fairly often. The 5 year olds are fun aren't they.....:)